Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize