it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
