Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
