so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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