Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
