i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
