man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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