How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
