Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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