Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
