i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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