I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
