How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
