every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
