Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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