And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
