In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
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Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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