If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize