So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
