girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
