I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
