Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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