Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
