I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
