porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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