new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
