The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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