The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
