Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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