i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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