Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm like, not good at living.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
