there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sorry my hands just texted you
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
