Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
