Mattress luging...It's a long story.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
