Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There's always time for handjobs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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