true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
well you can't waste a boner
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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