I hate your face
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
A+ Viking dick
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
