Yo dont text me then not text me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
