We're like a lot better than the average bears
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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