Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
