Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
