Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
