I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
