Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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