Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
