Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
