don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
