i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
