Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
