gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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