He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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