Reggie can tackle my bush.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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