I wish I only lived at night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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