hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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