i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
