and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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