You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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