they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
