Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
