BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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