uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
