Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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