All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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